LiveYinsa Collective: A Thanksgiving Guide for 2024!

Hey Beautiful Souls,

On this Thanksgiving, I want to offer my sincere gratitude for riding with me through 2024.  I'd like to say it's been a year, but it's always a year.   If you opened this email this morning, you brought me joy, so thank you.

If you're in the US, It's Thanksgiving. That time of year when we’re supposed to be feeling grateful, but what if you’re not? What if the thought of gathering with family feels more like an emotional minefield than a cozy, heartwarming celebration? It happens, and you’re not alone.

Sometimes, the pressure to feel joy or gratitude during these times feels like a weight we don’t want to carry. You don’t have to force yourself into the holiday spirit, but you can take a moment to create your own version of the day—one that honors your energy and boundaries. This year, let’s focus on gratitude and love in ways that feel good, not ways that are dictated by tradition or expectation.

Here’s how to approach Thanksgiving if you’re not feeling it:

1. Gratitude List: Start With Your Heart

Grab a pen and paper (or your phone) and jot down 10 things you’re genuinely grateful for. If you can’t think of 10 things, start with 5. And if it feels hard, let yourself be in the mess of that. We don’t always feel grateful, and that’s okay. Start small. It’s about the intention.

Maybe you’re grateful for the day off, or the opportunity to earn money, or the resilience of your ancestors. There’s no right or wrong. Just start where you are.

2. Text Your People: Gratitude in Action

Next, send a quick text to 10 people who have made an impact on your life. Let them know how much they mean to you and why. Make it specific—tell them exactly what you’re grateful for. It doesn’t have to be a long message, just honest.

Trust me, you’ll feel lighter after this. And who knows? It might just be the message they need to hear too.

3. Infuse Love Into the Food

If you’re cooking—or even just heating up leftovers—put some love in it. Cook with intention, and while you’re preparing the meal, think about the nourishment it’s going to provide. Channel energy into the food, whether it’s an offering to the spirits or just a simple wish for peace and wellness. This is your act of care, and it can be an altar in itself. You’re not just feeding bodies, you’re feeding souls.

And yes, I said altar. More on that in a minute.

4. Play the Music You Love

Let the soundtrack of your day be something that fuels you. Whether it’s gospel, soul, R&B, or your favorite dance tracks, play music that moves your spirit. Music is a form of prayer. It connects us to our roots, to joy, and to each other in ways words sometimes can’t.

If you’re in the mood, put on a playlist that honors your traditions, or play songs that remind you of happier times. Let the sound wash over you like a cleansing ritual.

5. Feed Your Altar First

For those of us who have an ancestral practice, we are reminded to always feed our altars first. It doesn’t matter if it’s just a small bowl of fruit or a candle lit in honor of your loved ones and ancestors—make this a tradition. Honor your spiritual guides and those who came before you, and then nourish yourself. This isn’t just about food, it’s about acknowledging the unseen energies that support and guide us.

6. Carry On Traditions, Even If No One’s Watching

Your ancestors created rituals and traditions to sustain them through tough times. We can carry those traditions forward, whether anyone else is watching or not. This might look like cooking a particular dish, lighting a specific candle, or saying a prayer before your meal. Do it for you, even if no one else is participating.

There’s power in honoring what came before us, even when it’s hard to keep the flame alive. Create new rituals, if it feels right, and pass them down. We’re building legacy, not just surviving a meal.

7. Gender Roles: A Tradition Worth Breaking

Let’s talk about gender roles. In some homes, the women cook and clean while the boys… well, they take up space on the couch. And while I love the fam, I won’t lie—it never felt good to model that for my own son.

This year, let’s create a tradition of collective support. If you’re hosting, give everyone a role—and that means everyone. No more reinforcing outdated gender dynamics. Everyone has a part to play in making the day a success, and that includes cleaning up, setting the table, and being active participants in creating the energy of the space.

So no more laying on the couch while the women do all the work. It’s time for a generational shift.

8. Active Listening, Not Political Battles

When you gather, be an active listener, but don’t try to change anyone’s politics. Thanksgiving is not the time to get into political debates, especially when tensions are high. Instead of convincing someone you’re right, listen, offer compassion, and change the subject if necessary.

If things get heated, it’s okay to step away. You’re not obligated to stay in a space that’s draining or unsafe. And yes, you can always claim you have a stomach virus.

9. You Never Have to Stay if It Gets Too Hard

Sometimes, Thanksgiving just doesn’t feel worth it. If the energy is too heavy, the conversations are too toxic, or you just don’t want to be there—you never have to stay.

You’re allowed to leave, take care of yourself, and retreat to a space that feels safe. No one gets to dictate how you honor or don’t honor this day. If you need to exit stage left, do it. Make an excuse, blame it on a stomach virus (it works every time), and leave with your peace intact. You deserve that.

You’re not alone, fam. Thanksgiving doesn’t have to be a day of forced joy or perfection. It can be whatever you make of it. And if you’re feeling disconnected, that’s okay too. Take care of your spirit, honor your body, and remember—you are enough, exactly as you are.

Wishing you peace, love, and a whole lot of good energy this holiday season.

With love,
Daniele