Overcoming the Freeze: Tools for Breaking Through Anxiety and Trauma

Happy Friday, Collective!

Last week, something happened that truly flipped a switch for me and served as a powerful reminder of how much healing is still needed. I woke up feeling an overwhelming sense of anxiety—my body heavy, my mind foggy, and my thoughts scattered. I went through my usual morning routine: warm water with lemon, coffee, time on the porch, journaling my feelings—but despite all of this, I felt completely frozen. I couldn't work, I couldn't focus, I couldn't get anything done.

As much as I wish these experiences were isolated, they aren't. They happen more often than I'd like to admit. Even though I've cultivated a number of tools that help me work through these mental states, living in the world as it currently exists means that stressors often don't dissipate for long enough to truly recover. Exercise, for example, is my go-to when I need to get out of my head and back into my body, but I don't always have the time and space for the amount of movement required to get me out of my head.  I often wonder how people who aren't in the business of teaching healing tools cope with these intense emotional experiences. How do they manage when their bodies are stuck in freeze mode and their brains feel like they're short-circuiting?

Before I had these tools, I relied on medications like Ativan, Xanax, Ambien, Zoloft, and Lexapro—drugs that work by numbing the experience of anxiety or depression, keeping you at a more manageable level so you can continue going through your daily routine. While medications certainly have their place, especially in severe cases, they only address the symptoms, not the root cause. Healing requires going deeper, finding the source of the anxiety or trauma, and addressing it at its core.

And this is what I do for my clients: I help them uncover the root causes of their trauma so they can begin healing from the bottom up, rather than simply band-aiding the symptoms with medication.

Understanding the Freeze Response: A Biological Perspective

When we talk about anxiety or trauma, most people are familiar with the terms fight or flight. These are the body's natural responses to perceived threats, triggered by the activation of the sympathetic nervous system. Here's a quick breakdown:

• Fight: The body prepares for action. Heart rate increases, muscles tense, and adrenaline is released to help you confront or escape the threat.
• Flight: The body prepares to flee from danger. You might feel a rush of energy pushing you to run away or remove yourself from the stressful situation.

But there's a third response that often gets overlooked—the freeze response. When we freeze, our bodies become immobilized, either as a survival mechanism or because the threat feels overwhelming and unmanageable. This is the body's way of coping when fight or flight are not viable options.

During freeze, the parasympathetic nervous system kicks in, and the body enters a state of heightened alertness but without the ability to take action. This can feel like a dissociative state—almost like being "stuck" in time. Over time, chronic freezing can lead to feelings of helplessness, numbness, and emotional shutdown.

For many of us, the freeze response can be terrifying. It's a cycle of inaction that breeds more anxiety, making the overwhelm worse. Things pile up: tasks get ignored, bills go unpaid, and you find yourself scrambling to catch up on everything you've neglected, which only adds more stress to an already overwhelming situation. Work, personal life, relationships—everything suffers.

But here’s the good news: We don’t have to stay stuck in freeze mode. There are tools we can use to unfreeze ourselves and start taking action, even if it feels difficult.

5 Tools for Getting Out of Freeze Mode

If you’ve ever experienced that paralyzing feeling of being stuck, here are five tools to help you move through it and regain a sense of agency and safety.

1. Grounding Techniques
   Grounding helps you reconnect with the present moment and your physical surroundings. A simple grounding exercise involves focusing on your senses:

   • What are five things you can see?
   • What are four things you can touch?
   • What are three things you can hear?
   • What are two things you can smell?
   • What is one thing you can taste?
     By shifting your attention to the present, you interrupt the cycle of anxious thinking and create a sense of control.

2. Breathing

   • When you're in freeze mode, your nervous system is in overdrive, and deep breathing can help regulate it. Try the 4-7-8 technique:

   • Inhale for 4 seconds.
   • Hold your breath for 7 seconds.
   • Exhale slowly for 8 seconds.
     This simple technique helps activate the parasympathetic nervous system, calming the body and mind.

3. Movement
   I have become obsessed with movement since my spinal surgery, and I often spend 2 -4 hours each day on my bike, yoga swing, in pilates or walking on the beach. Any physical movement, even just a short walk, can break the freeze response and help release built-up tension. If you’re able, try doing some gentle stretches or dancing around the house to get the energy moving through your body.

4. Mindful Self-Compassion
   Often, the freeze response is tied to feelings of shame or judgment. It’s easy to criticize ourselves when we can’t get things done, but this only keeps us stuck. Practice self-compassion by acknowledging your feelings without judgment. Remind yourself that you are human, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed. Try saying, "This is hard, but I am safe and I am allowed to take a break."

5. Create Small, Manageable Tasks
   When you feel frozen, the weight of everything piling up can feel suffocating. Instead of looking at the big picture, break tasks down into small, achievable steps. For example, if you’re facing a mountain of emails, focus on answering just one. If you're behind on bills, start by addressing just one overdue payment. Gradually, this sense of accomplishment will help build momentum and shift you out of the freeze.

Taking Action & Healing

It's important to remember that there is no shame in feeling stuck or overwhelmed. The freeze response is a natural biological reaction to perceived danger or threat. But it’s also possible to move through it—and often, the first step is recognizing what’s happening and giving yourself permission to feel what you feel without judgment.

If you're struggling with chronic freeze responses or other trauma-related patterns, consider working with a therapist or coach who can help guide you toward healing. There is so much power in addressing the root causes of our anxiety and trauma, and through tools, support, and time, you can learn to unfreeze and take action toward healing.  If you want to do that work with me, in Bali, I have a spot for you.

If you're a member of the LiveYinsa Collective, or would like to be, we have implemented the following changes beginning January 1st, 2025:

• There will now be a monthly vision boarding workshop on the first of each month, beginning New Years Day, 2025.  We will focus each month of imagery around one of the 12 houses in our natal chart, beginning with a meditation and culminating of a share of our dreams with the group.  The goal is to build community and hope during a time where many are feeling hopeless.  Those of us who have built beautiful lives from nothing but ashes will have the opportunity to share our wins and encourage each others progress.  Some witches will tell you to keep your dreams to yourselves, but longstanding members of the collective will tell you that we are each others biggest cheerleaders. 
• We will also have a monthly natal chart workshop that will look more like office hours, where you can bring your birth chart and experts will help you look at your transits and aspects for the month, helping you to figure out where to focus your energy.
• Lastly, we are implementing a monthly Ayurveda workshop aimed at teaching members how to live Ayurvedically by teaching them how to prepare ayurvedic staples like ghee, kitchari, and ccf tea as well as tonics for each of the seasons and constitutions.  We will also be offering audio files of meditations to support you in finding elemental balance in the mind body and spirit.

If you're a collective member who has left us, or are brand new to the group, we have a special offer only for the rest of 2024 - $222 for the entire year, which includes a personal birth chart reading WITH ME.  These readings are normally $188 each, and they include an Ayurvedic assessment of the elements in the body, as well as herbal and nutritional suggestions for finding balance.  Your 90-minute readings will be scheduled for the month of January, and I have limited these offers to only the first 10 people who join the collective using this link.

If you have questions or want to learn more about overcoming the freeze response, I’d love to hear from you. We’re all on this healing journey together.

Sending you all love, compassion, and the courage to move forward,

Daniele