Why Do You Work So Much?
Work/life balance, explained...
Hi Family,
I feel an intervention is coming so before the masses unite, I wanted to offer some perspective.
Yes, I do too much. I build too many things, I start too many projects, I take care of everything and everyone other than myself. I field roughly three calls a week from friends and colleagues who ask me why I don't just take a day off, go to the beach on the beautiful island I chose to inhabit, and close the laptop. Here are some answers...
I am blessed with friends who love me unconditionially; its one thing about me that has always been true. Whenever I have needed to be bailed out, since I was 13-years-old, it has always been my friends, (and later, my Mother), who saved me from the countless risks I was always willing to take.
99% percent of those risks, however, have been one million percent worth it. Starting a business a year before a pandemic? Worth it. Marrying a Dominican resort worker? Difficult, but worth it. Reality TV? VERY difficult. Worth it. Taking on business partners? Worth it. Starting a non-profit? Worth it. Moving to DR? Worth it. Taking a break from teaching? Worth it.
My path has often been the hardest one I could have chosen. I don't choose easy lessons. The learning that I have experienced in the classroom that is my life, however, has never left me lost. Instead, it has provided me wisdom that no school or accelerator could have taught me. In the end, I have skills, experience, and I am certain that there are few jobs I couldn't do if armageddon hit and I was left without resources.
I remember one of the million times I was bitching to my mother about the support she was willing to offer my brother while I was left to fend for myself. She shared that she always knew that I would be "fine", but she was worried about him. That killed me, because I, too, needed support. I often felt like I had to prove that I both needed it and would use it wisely, while he was driving his 3rd gifted car through a fence and making everyone around him pay for it. I learned young that if I didn't take care of me, no one else would, even if the reality was probably quite different than I imagined it. The actual truth is, I have always been cared for because God and my ancestors have been carrying me through some very difficult times.
I am at a stage in my life where I want other people to feel the same support. I want people who are afraid to travel alone to feel like they have someone to show them the world, because I had to do that for myself and I remember when that was scary. I want children without traditional families to feel what its like to be held and supported by people who will never give up on them, because my own family has abandoned me more than once. I want teachers to be able to use their school breaks to take space for themselves, rather than doing another week of professional development, because no matter how hard they work they never feel like they are doing enough. Most importantly, I want the people who work both for and alongside me to be proud of the impact we make in the world both as a corporation and as a non-profit organization, because purpose and impact help us sleep better at night. I used to spend all my time talking about healing and trauma, and now I get to spend all my time building and creating and applying all the things I learned through my own healing. Not everyone is there yet. Today, my purpose is to help them get there.
I say no to 99.9% of invites; to dinner, to dates, to beach clubs, to trips, if they are not connected to my work. People are surprised by this because I "sell" respite and escapes and ways to decompress. The truth is, four years of healing gave me all the decompression I truly needed. I work in spurts and sprints, and when I am inspired, I ride that wave as long and as far as I can. When I'm tired, I rest, and when I need my people, I get on a plane and go to NYC to see them. Right now, my work is fueling me and drinks on the beach aren't. I may feel differently next month or next year, but for now, seeing the impact we have had is giving me the fire I need to continue creating.
I know you may not be in the same place in your journey. Not everyone has the privilege to throw everything away over and over again and build something new. For all the years I was raising a child alone in a city that made it harder and harder to live, I couldn't either. There is no judgment here for mothers and caretakers or anyone who feels trapped by their circumstances. For me, it took a pandemic to realize just how long I was surviving and hanging on physically, financially, mentally, and spiritually by the thinnest of threads. When my son went to college and the world shut down, I was made very much aware of how much internal work I had to do. The important thing is, I did it. I did a lot more work in 4 years than most people can do in a lifetime.
I offer you this. If you don't take the time to do that work, whatever it is for you, God will create the time for you whether you feel like you're ready or not. I invite you to choose easier lessons than I have. In some ways, being single and alone without family in a country that is not my own is hard, but in more ways, its comforting. I never have to answer my phone out of guilt or say yes out of obligation. I get to choose what I say yes to and when, and I never worry about who is choosing me. I choose me, and that's all that matters.
Speaking of the work...
I saw a post the other day from a yoga teacher who said,
"I'm tired of creating content. Come to my classes and my retreats please. Thank you."
I felt that in my body. In the world of AI, it feels like no matter what the industry, people somehow have the ability to churn out marketing materials at a level that is beyond anything I have the capacity to create. Instead, here is my simple ask. Travel with me. There are many ways to do that...
Let me book your travel. If you found it on expedia or booking, I can do that too - same price. If you're planning a multi-city itinerary in a place you've never visited, I can do it better. I spend most of my time in front of a computer doing just that, and since I started working with Fora in 2025, I have learned a lot that I will tell you the truth about. It doesn't hurt to ask. Fill out an inquiry form below, and I will get back to you ASAP.
Retreat with me. We are in NYC in January, and Morocco at the end of April. The DR trip during Presidents week is sold out, but if you have 5 people you want to travel with, I can offer you the same trip, same villa. same inquiry form above for DR, if you want more info on Morocco or NYC, click below.
Learn About This Year's Retreats
Support the Yinsa Foundation. I get that people don't know where their money goes. We tell you, we show you, and whether we like it or not, we tell the government too. As a registered non-profit, our finances are public. Not one person on staff takes a salary, and all of our board members are volunteers. Right now, we are building an on-site garden to make FONICRIS more self-sustaining, and a learning center to support our summer programming. You can learn more about the foundation below.
In the meantime, I will be continuing all of the work that makes this happen - even this newsletter and the software to run it is a feat in and of itself - that's why they're not particularly pretty or consistent. One day, I will get better at it, its just not my priority today. Maybe next month.
Thanks for reading all that, I know it was a lot, and it's Monday. I pray your week progresses with ease and grace, and that you take time for yourself. If you don't, I pray that whatever you're doing feels good in your body. That's a privilege that not many of us have, but I wish more of us built.
With Gratitude,
Daniele
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