Hey fam,
I want to talk about something we don't talk about enough.
Those of us who are living the lives that other women are scrolling past did not get there because we were fearless. We got here because at some point we stopped calling things "risks" and started calling them "decisions."
There is a difference. A risk feels like something could go wrong, and it puts you in the mindset of worry or anxiety. Then, when you're worried, you attract things to be worried about. It's an exhausting cycle.
A decision feels like something has to change, and it comes with the willingness to learn what's possible. A decision comes with excitement and gratitude for change, rather than being rooted in "what ifs." If you need a great book to help get you there - here's what I read in 2006 that made me start taking leaps.
Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway
I made a decision a few years ago to leave New York. I was teaching remotely, and for the first time in my life, I had the opportunity to teach from somewhere that wasn't New York.
I chose South Beach, Miami.
It was warm, I could walk to the beach or the gym. It gave me a completely different way of living that I had never before believed was possible.
At that time, I had no idea I would ever leave the classroom or the cold forever. I looked at it like a brief respite from exhaustion and overwhelm.
The thing about toxic cycles is, you don't know they're toxic when you're in them. You have to leave them long enough to see the difference. For me, 5 months was long enough. When I wen't back to NYC, I got sick in everyway - physically, emotionally, and spiritually. New York just wasn't for me anymore. Had I never left, I would never have known that.
What did I learn from that experience?
You have to travel outside the noise to realize it's noise and not music.
People called my move everything from a mid-life crisis to a brave act of courage. I called it necessary.
What I did not fully understand then is that the decision was only possible because of community. I was surrounded people who showed up for me, who said yes when I asked for help, and who held things with me that I could not hold alone.
I had a coach - Emily Merril - who told me to get a roomate in New York to pay for my Miami townhouse. I listened. That one piece of advice changed my life in every possible way.
Fast forward to this past Monday, when I hosted a fundraiser here in Punta Cana with Punta Cana Community Cares. We raised money for Fonicris and El Sistema, two organizations that bring education and resources to children in orphanages and communities where that kind of access simply does not exist.
YOU MADE THAT POSSIBLE BY SUPPORTING MY COMPANY.... Thank you.
The thing that I sat with in that event was: This is what community does. It creates access. It opens doors that were never supposed to open for you. It shows you what's possible even though everything you've learned has been that possibilities are limited - that they're for other people.
What is the single biggest difference between people who create change and people who let circumstances change them? Travel.
YOU HAVE TO LEAVE. Not forever, but for a time long enough to know what exactly you're going back to. You have to travel to remain objective and discerning. You have to travel to meet people who are from somewhere else, doing something else.
When you travel with me, you think you are coming for the catamaran and the villa and the food. Maybe you're coming for the yoga and the workshops and the learning. The truth is, it's all of those things AND....
What you actually leave with is a different relationship to what is possible for you. You leave having made decisions you were not ready to make before you got on the plane.
That is the whole point.
In May I am taking a small group of 6 women to Punta Cana and Cap Cana for four days. This is not a retreat that takes itself too seriously. It is a girls trip with intention. A villa, all your meals, a catamaran cruise, an ATV ride through a cenote, real conversations with women who are done playing small.
$1,500 covers everything except your flight. Klarna and Affirm are available if you want to break it up.
The women who are coming have already decided. The spot I am holding is for whoever reads this and feels something shift.
That feeling is not anxiety. That is your decision trying to make itself.
If you're trying to figure out how to afford travel, I have been offering classes and workshops on travel tips in the LiveYinsa Collective. You can join the collective below.
If you don't know what you want, and you want help figuring that out - this is what I do. All you need to do is respond to this email, let me know you are looking for direction, and we will take it from there.
The point is, there is always a way out, and it's through. It's not around, it's not above or below - it's through whatever thing you've tricked yourself to believing is in your way. The problem is not your family, it's not your job, and it's not your finances. It's your mindset. Let me help you figure it out. Your first step is feeling the fear, and taking the leap anyway.
I am your evidence.
See you soon,
Daniele
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