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I wasn’t reckless. I was listening.

Dec 16, 2025
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For a long time, I thought self-love was something you practiced after your life felt calm.

After the bills were paid.
After you were in the right relationship.
After you felt less tired, less reactive, and less stretched.

What I’ve learned is that self-love is usually the first thing we lose, not the last thing we gain.

We lose it when we learn to be the "strong one."
When we insist on becoming the reliable one.
When we prioritize security over living.
When we tell ourselves, “This is just how it is.”

For me, that looked like staying in a life that made sense on paper but felt wrong in my body.

When I left New York, and everything familiar, to move to the Dominican Republic, people told me I was reckless and that I was chasing a fantasy. They believed I was giving up safety for a man or an impossible dream.

What they didn’t see was how long I had already been abandoning myself.

They didn’t see the years of overworking, trying to prove myself.
They didn't see the panic attacks.
They didn't see that I was constantly trying to hold it together for my son and my students.
They didn't see the ways my body was begging me to listen, and slowly shutting down.

My relationship with Yohan didn’t create that reckoning, it revealed it.

When you love someone, or risk something meaningful, everything you’ve been ignoring comes to the surface. All of your patterns, your shadows, and your lack of self-trust comes to the forefront.  If you have a tendency to put yourself last, it becomes blatantly obvious.

Self-love isn’t about being perfect, healed, or untriggered.  It isn't even about confidence.
It’s about learning how to put yourself first, especially when it would be easier not to.

That is why this retreat exists.

Not as an escape.
Not as a makeover.
Not as a performance of wellness.

This retreat is a place to ask the honest questions:

  • When did I stop listening to myself?

  • Where did I learn that my needs were negotiable?

  • What would it look like to choose myself without apology?

From February 13–18, Felipe Gonzalez and I be in the Dominican Republic doing this work intentionally, and together.

Mornings without alarms.
Practices that regulate the nervous system.
Conversations where you don’t have to be "fixed."
Space to feel what you’ve been running away from.

There are 3 spots left.

I’m sharing this not to convince you, but to invite you to listen.
If something in your body softened while reading this, that matters.
If you felt emotional without knowing why, that matters.
If you’ve been holding it together for too long, that matters.

Self-love doesn’t return all at once.
It begins the moment you decide to stop abandoning yourself.

If this retreat is part of that decision, you can find the details and reserve your spot here:

 Join us in Dominican Republic

 

If you can't make it, let this be your reminder anyway:
You don’t need to earn rest.
You don’t need to justify your knowing.
You don’t need to stay small to stay safe.

With love,

Daniele

 

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